Our Thanksgiving

I apologize for the absence. I've been finishing up one job (with NISGUA) while already completely engaged in another (full-time stay-at-home parenting). The little computer time I've had (solely at night) has been devoted to a special extended-family project. Now that I've finished my NISGUA tasks and completed the family project, I have more time to do other computer-related activities such as blog!

Now a note about our Thanksgiving. It is not a holiday celebrated in Guatemala, but we got together with some friends, including a number of North Americans. We hosted for the first time! In past years we've celebrated with our good friends who moved away recently, and it was sad to be apart from them. But we kept busy with preparations and company and really and truly enjoyed ourselves.

In the morning, Edwin went to the Trebol market to get a free-range turkey:

It ranged freely on our terrace for a bit...

and I felt profound gratitude for its life.

and then Edwin did the brave deed...
(no photo of that)

and here, washing him afterwards:


I was sad about his death, but also felt right in knowing how our turkey had lived and died.

While the turkey was roasting, Edwin and Chely planted a güisquil (squash-like vegetable) in the ravine behind our apartment.


Because it's not a Guatemalan holiday, people couldn't come over until they got off work. (Edwin took the day off.) Chely fell asleep waiting for the guests:


but then she woke up and had fun playing and drawing with them.

Folks brought delicious food, including broccoli in cheese sauce (Chely kept asking for more), green bean casserole, carrots and mushrooms, mashed potatoes, and a greens-and-strawberry salad. We had pecan and pumpkin pies and apple crisp with ice cream. Also on the table were sweet-corn tortillas, maize tortillas, and xep (beans in corn dough).

Serving up:



Yummy food, lively conversation, and Amanda's turkey-gobble song made for a real celebration.



With gratitude for family and friends and food...
the earth and the sun and the rain...
and for everything that Chely mentioned in her video...

Thankfulness

Here Chely talks about what she is thankful for.

Recent Chely quotes

• "Ouch, you're scratching me where I'm not itchy. Those are the wrong sorts of scratches."
  
• "Can you hold my baby [doll] for a minute? If she laughs a bit, smile at her and she'll laugh more."
• "I love my do-dó [doll]. After I go to work on Saturdays and Mondays, I come home and give her lots of kisses."
  
• "I love you even when you are at work, Mommy."
• "I love the entire you."
• "Mamas are not usually llamas, right?"
• Me: "Why do you like to sleep with no clothes on?" Chely: "Because I'm hot and cold and I want to be free."
• "When is Kayalá going to graduate not being a baby anymore?"
  

B'ixalja' Butterfly

Taking care of Kajalá

Here Chely nurses her doll whose name is Kajalá Guadadupe Janette.

The question of sleep

Something that fascinates me is the difference in the questions that people ask me about my baby in the U.S. and in Guatemala.

In the U.S. most people asked me about Chely's, and now Kayalá's, sleeping habits. In Guatemala almost no one asks that!

Instead, in Guatemala people want to know what and how well she is eating. Women almost always ask me right off the bat "¿puro chichi le das?" (if asked in rural areas, "¿sólo pecho le das?" if it's in the city) which basically means "Are you exclusively nursing her?"

And folks here regularly ask about my labor and delivery. Where and how was Kayalá born: was it a natural birth, a c-section, how long did it last, and so on.

There's a wealth of material here in terms of what these questions say about baby care in different cultures. For now I'll focus on the sleep question.

Note: I want to acknowledge that here I am talking in general about cultural differences between Latin and North America. Within each culture of course there is plenty of diversity. I do not mean to over-generalize but just want to point out some fairly widespread elements of each culture. And I do not mean to imply that one way is better than another, just different!


So why don't folks in Guatemala focus so much on children's sleep? Or, a Guatemalan might ask, why do folks in the U.S. worry so much about their children's sleep habits?

For one thing, in Guatemala, babies usually sleep right next to their mothers, and certainly in the same room. At night, at the bare beginning of a stir the mom breastfeeds her baby back to sleep - often neither mom nor baby fully awakes, even. For that reason, folks here don't use the milestone awaited by many North American parents when their babies to "sleep through the night."

In the U.S. many parents use the time between when their children go to bed and they go to bed to do their own, grown-up things (like, say, talk with their spouses without kids' interruptions, watch a movie, read, blog). In rural communities in Guatemala, on the other hand, everyone pretty much goes to bed at the same time (usually early, especially in areas where there is no electricity), so putting the baby to sleep is pretty painless, though it means you miss out on that extra time at night. Sometimes I do this myself and miss out on my "own" time at night (and end up delinquent in getting updates on the blog), but I definitely feel well-rested the next day!

In the U.S. caretakers appreciate naptime as it allows them to do other tasks and activities. But in Guatemala, especially in the rural areas, moms or other relatives and friends carry the baby for a good portion of the day on their backs, so whether or not the baby is asleep is a moot point; the mom or other carrier continues with her/his work either way. And actually, being carried often lulls the baby to sleep anyway.

In general, babies in Guatemala are not kept on specific baby schedules, but rather allowed to sleep as they please, usually in tune with the rest of the family's schedules. I remember being surprised that my friend Nelly let her toddler sleep in the late afternoon - for me that was key time to keep her awake so she'd go to bed at a "good" or "reasonable" hour. But Nelly prefered to let her daughter rest and be in a good mood in the evening and then go to sleep when Nelly did at 11pm. At late-night parties and dances in Guatemala, it's common to see children dancing and hanging out for as long as they can, then crashing onto sheets and towels laid out for them under the tables! (This also says something about the acceptance of children in pretty much every social space. Nursing babies, toddlers, and older kids regularly accompany their parents to meetings, church services, parties, etc, and are not kept quiet by adults but rather are allowed to drift in and out as they like. This has its advantages, especially in allowing moms, including those who are breastfeeding their babies {a whole other topic}, to attend public activities. It also has its downside, in that it makes it hard to hear public speakers sometimes.)

Certainly, a big reason for parents and caretakers to ensure that children get enough sleep is to keep them happy rather than overtired and cranky. But caretakers often appreciate naptimes and early bedtimes because it allows them to carve out time to do non-kid-related work or play, to rest, or even just to just take a shower...basically, to have time for themselves. But "time for one's self" is a pretty foreign concept in rural Guatemala, and to an extent in the city as well. Most spaces are shared, and most activities are done with, or at least in the company of, others. (This is actually one of the most challenging aspects of rural Guatemala life for many North American volunteers - the lack of personal time and space.) A person by him/herself is considered to be sad. The remedy is to be with others. And it's pretty much unheard of for children to sleep alone - they sleep with their parents and/or siblings.

In the Guatemalan framework, parents don't worry about their babies' sleep patterns because their babies are with them pretty much all the time, whether asleep or awake. In the U.S. where independence, personal space, and schedules are valued, it makes sense that parents work hard to ensure that their children be able to sleep on their own and at a certain time.

What Kayalá is up to at 4 months

• She smiles A LOT
• She laughs a lot with her sister
  
• She rolls over
• She is vocalizing a lot and trying different sounds which Chely sometimes interprets for us

• She's totally into reaching, touching, feeling
  
• She loves to touch faces
• She loves to watch the rain
• She loves to be outside
• She loves to touch leaves
• She loves to gaze at people
• She loves to go for walks
  
• She loves looking at colorful curtains, weavings, and mobiles

• She does not like to lean back anymore when in the bathtub and prefers to sit (with lots of assistance!) instead
• She struggles to sit up when she is in a reclining position, for instance in her stroller

• She often gets frustrated with her toys, grunting at them -- she clearly wants to manipulate them more than her level of coordination allows (as my dad said about Chely at a similar stage: "Chely-brain can do more than Chely-hands")
• She hates having her shirt pulled over her head when dressing

• She takes short naps
  
• She has started eating solids (I had planned to wait until she was 6 months old, but she was showing great interest in eating, so we've given her bananas and avocados, to great success so far)
  

• She loves soft, crinkly, and textured books
  
• She loves squeaky, squishy toys that are easy to hold -- and to chew
  

• She really, really smiles a lot - Edwin's sister Guadalupe, her namesake, was the same way
  

Trick or treaters

Visit north

Finally, pictures from our trip to Massachusetts...

In transit:







Our arrival at Logan:



The foliage, which Edwin, Chely, and Kayalá all saw for the first time!



We were lucky that both of my brothers - Adrian and Will - made trips out to Needham during our visit! Chely had no end of uncle-fun:



Grampa-Gus-fun:

and Bamba-fun:



Uncle Ade brought his special someone, Claudia, who read and made peg designs with Chely:


Uncles have great laps for sleeping!


On Uncle Ade's and Claudia's laps:


On Uncle Will's lap:


We didn't get a picture of the time she totally conked out on Bamba's lap.

Kayalá, meanwhile, found a comfortable spot to nap as Tato devoured Francisco Goldman's book:


Kayalá had the chance to gaze and "goo" at many loved ones. Here she is with Great-Gramma:


With Great-Gramma and Great-Aunt Mary (or "Great Mary" as Chely calls her):


And here, gazing in rapt attention at Great-Poppa:


Kayalá's unwavering focus reminded us of 5-month-old Chely, who had similarly locked her eyes on Poppa for the entire duration of her baptism.



With Uncle Will:


With Uncle Ade:



With Claudia:


My dad, brother, and Edwin went for an overnight hike in New Hampshire. Beautiful views, clean clear air, and great exercise!

Chely said that she wants to go camping with them when she turns 5.



During this trip, I saw a number of long-time friends. I feel so blessed to have kept up with a number of buddies from Needham including Sarah and Teresa, Kayalá's godparents. Whenever I am in the U.S. a core group of us gets together. Here's part of our "gang":


Also on this trip I reconnected with Barbara. She and I were best friends in middle school/part of high school, then kind of went our separate ways for a while, and recently reconnected. Barbara is her same friendly and funny self. Her children are total sweethearts - Madeline at age 1 is already dancing away, and 3-year-old Tommy showed his mastery of the train set. It was a treasure to reconnect with Barb!



Antoinette and I have also known each other since middle school and see each other a couple times a year. We were in each other's weddings! Here she is holding Kayalá.



We visited the aquarium with Uncles Will and Eric...




...and learned that global warming and pesticide runoff are causing fish populations to dwindle and jellyfish populations to prosper:


Chely is a huge fan of musician-uncle Eric Dahlman - she regularly (sometimes daily) requests that we put on one of his CDs:


We all enjoyed some cool walks:





Hanging out - here Chely prepares a picnic lunch for all:



Giving Kayalá a bath in the kitchen:


(I can't help noting that when Chely was this age, if there were 10 people in the house, 10 people would be helping/watching her taking a bath. This time, if there were 10 people in the house, 3 would be helping Kayalá take a bath while the other 7 would be playing with Chely... Ahh, the second child!)


Chely got to use an antique school desk given by my mom's friend Béa:




Drawing in Boston:


Tack and Christine hit the gift jackpot! Here they look on as Chely makes a house, using the gift box and wrappings, for the washable doll they just gave her:


The princess dress from Claudia and Ade was also a hit!

Playing in the yard:

Holding hands: Uncle Will, Chely, and Great-Gramma:


And the little sweetie in the car on the way to the airport for the return trip:



Saying goodbye is no fun - well, except for the upside-down time with Uncle Will at the airport: