Something that fascinates me is the difference in the questions that people ask me about my baby in the U.S. and in Guatemala.
In the U.S. most people asked me about Chely's, and now Kayalá's, sleeping habits. In Guatemala almost no one asks that!
Instead, in Guatemala people want to know what and how well she is eating. Women almost always ask me right off the bat "¿
puro chichi le das?" (if asked in rural areas, "
¿sólo pecho le das?" if it's in the city) which basically means "Are you exclusively nursing her?"
And folks here regularly ask about my labor and delivery. Where and how was Kayalá born: was it a natural birth, a c-section, how long did it last, and so on.
There's a wealth of material here in terms of what these questions say about baby care in different cultures. For now I'll focus on the sleep question.
Note: I want to acknowledge that here I am talking
in general about cultural differences between Latin and North America. Within each culture of course there is plenty of diversity. I do not mean to over-generalize but just want to point out some fairly widespread elements of each culture. And I do not mean to imply that one way is better than another, just different!
So why don't folks in Guatemala focus so much on children's sleep? Or, a Guatemalan might ask, why do folks in the U.S. worry so much about their children's sleep habits?
For one thing, in Guatemala, babies usually sleep right next to their mothers, and certainly in the same room. At night, at the bare beginning of a stir the mom breastfeeds her baby back to sleep - often neither mom nor baby fully awakes, even. For that reason, folks here don't use the milestone awaited by many North American parents when their babies to "sleep through the night."
In the U.S. many parents use the time between when their children go to bed and they go to bed to do their own, grown-up things (like, say, talk with their spouses without kids' interruptions, watch a movie, read, blog). In rural communities in Guatemala, on the other hand, everyone pretty much goes to bed at the same time (usually early, especially in areas where there is no electricity), so putting the baby to sleep is pretty painless, though it means you miss out on that extra time at night. Sometimes I do this myself and miss out on my "own" time at night (and end up delinquent in getting updates on the blog), but I definitely feel well-rested the next day!
In the U.S. caretakers appreciate naptime as it allows them to do other tasks and activities. But in Guatemala, especially in the rural areas, moms or other relatives and friends carry the baby for a good portion of the day on their backs, so whether or not the baby is asleep is a moot point; the mom or other carrier continues with her/his work either way. And actually, being carried often lulls the baby to sleep anyway.
In general, babies in Guatemala are not kept on specific baby schedules, but rather allowed to sleep as they please, usually in tune with the rest of the family's schedules. I remember being surprised that my friend Nelly let her toddler sleep in the late afternoon - for me that was key time to keep her awake so she'd go to bed at a "good" or "reasonable" hour. But Nelly prefered to let her daughter rest and be in a good mood in the evening and then go to sleep when Nelly did at 11pm. At late-night parties and dances in Guatemala, it's common to see children dancing and hanging out for as long as they can, then crashing onto sheets and towels laid out for them under the tables! (This also says something about the acceptance of children in pretty much every social space. Nursing babies, toddlers, and older kids regularly accompany their parents to meetings, church services, parties, etc, and are not kept quiet by adults but rather are allowed to drift in and out as they like. This has its advantages, especially in allowing moms, including those who are breastfeeding their babies {a whole other topic}, to attend public activities. It also has its downside, in that it makes it hard to hear public speakers sometimes.)
Certainly, a big reason for parents and caretakers to ensure that children get enough sleep is to keep them happy rather than overtired and cranky. But caretakers often appreciate naptimes and early bedtimes because it allows them to carve out time to do non-kid-related work or play, to rest, or even just to just take a shower...basically, to have time for themselves. But "time for one's self" is a pretty foreign concept in rural Guatemala, and to an extent in the city as well. Most spaces are shared, and most activities are done with, or at least in the company of, others. (This is actually one of the most challenging aspects of rural Guatemala life for many North American volunteers - the lack of personal time and space.) A person by him/herself is considered to be sad. The remedy is to be with others. And it's pretty much unheard of for children to sleep alone - they sleep with their parents and/or siblings.
In the Guatemalan framework, parents don't worry about their babies' sleep patterns because their babies are with them pretty much all the time, whether asleep or awake. In the U.S. where independence, personal space, and schedules are valued, it makes sense that parents work hard to ensure that their children be able to sleep on their own and at a certain time.
She actually drew it originally for her great-grandfather, who is about to turn 90. But I think he'd be happy to share it with you all.
